Devotional by Charleen Calvin
In 2017 we knew it was time to grow our family a little bigger. God had already blessed us with a little girl, and we felt it was time for a sibling for her. Before we knew it I was pregnant and we were over the moon! Two weeks after finding out we were pregnant, I was at work and felt a sharp pain that would not relent. As I drove home that day some pretty dark thoughts came to my mind, but I also heard clearly in my spirit from God: “Even if you bleed a lot, will you trust me?” Once I got home I told my husband about the pain and he comforted me that all will be fine. A few moments later I was convinced I was having a miscarriage after going to the bathroom. I had forgotten what God asked me already, the tears started flowing and defeat started creeping in.
My husband stayed with my daughter and called a close friend to take me to the hospital. This friend had experienced a miscarriage a few years before, and was still believing for their firstborn to come into this world. She did not hesitate, and came immediately. After a long wait, a very costly scan, and a doctor with terrible bedside manners, the news was confirmed; it was indeed a miscarriage. Disappointment, sadness, loss and anger quickly started to set in.
Once we arrived back home, I just wanted to rest and throw myself a pity party, however another close friend called and for some reason I answered. She told me to praise God for my baby and thank God that my baby is still alive. For just a quick moment I thought she was crazy, but then God reminded me of what He asked me in the car ride home from work just a few hours before. I took my friend’s advice and started praying and thanking God for my baby, and how healthy my baby is.
Sometimes I talk a little harshly to God – I demand promises from Him before I open His Word in my quiet times, especially in times of desperation, but I love that we serve a God who can handle that! I asked God to make me a promise that my baby is still alive, or just to tell me exactly if what the doctors said was true. Although God had given me a hint that everything will be fine if I trust Him in the car that day, He even still gave me another promise: “On the day when I act,” says the Lord Almighty, “they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him.” (Malachi 3:17 NIV) And yet another promise, because God loves showing off His faithfulness: “But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays.” (Malachi 4:2 NIV)
As I read the promises God gave me that day I knew my baby was still alive and that my baby would be a boy. Today he is eighteen months old, and he completely is what his name means; bringer of light, Luka. God has shown up in my life in many miraculous ways, just as He did in the life of my son, and I believe He can’t wait to show up countless more times in my future. Not because of who I am and what I have done, but simply because of what a good and faithful heavenly Father He is to those who choose to trust in Him despite what the circumstances say on this earth.
I thank God for those two friends He strategically placed in my life at that time. One friend who must have experienced the heart ache of loosing a baby recently all over again, and another friend who called me out on my lack of faith in God who still today performs miracles among those who dare to trust in Him fully despite what doctors say. Do yourself a favor, and surround yourself with friends who will be there for you, and who will also not allow you to settle!
The heartache of loosing a baby is a lot to bear, and my heart truly is aching with those who have lost babies. One thing I do know is that our God is the type of Father who loves us so deeply, mourns with us, and rejoices with us as well, and knows our heart’s deepest desires. He uses circumstances to help grow us closer to Him.
So today I urge you to trust in God and obey what He is asking of you, because there might just be a miracle around the corner waiting for you with a lovely colorful bow on it, and your name written all over it! Now that is living!
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20 NIV)
God, thank you for being our heavenly Father and loving us as much as you do. We give you all the praise for all the miracles we might not even have acknowledged in the past, that indeed were your work after all! We choose to put our hope, trust and obedience in you alone so that your name can be glorified. Please help us to choose You and Your ways before we even consider our own ways. Today we say have Your way, and open our eyes to Your miraculous ways. We love You Jesus! AMEN.