Feet, Fatty Tumors and Cowlicks
Blog By Shirley Mozingo
“Do you hurt, grandma?”
It was a simple question asked by my grandson as he snuggled next to me on the sofa and gave me a very loose hug.
I knew his question was prompted by his concern over my health, so I replied, “No, Judah. I don’t hurt. You can hug me as tightly as you want and all I’ll feel is loved.”
In July of 2018, I learned my breast cancer had returned after 16 years of remission. I also had a massive tumor on my thyroid that was entangled in my vocal cord, paralyzing it and reducing my voice to a whisper. The doctors said it wouldnever recover.
One day while I was whining to God about my lost voice, He spoke in that tender, small voice of His.
God: Do you believe I am who I say I am?
Me: Yes. I believe you are God.
God: And do you believe I am the God of you?
God: Then if you truly believe I am God, and that I am the God of you, then you have to believe that this battle is mine. Not yours. And if you believe the battle is mine, then you must also believe the timeline is mine and I have you right where I want you.
God is sovereign, but it’s easy to become so preoccupied and dismayed by circumstances and people that we begin to doubt His ability to handle them in His own way and in His own time.
I recalled a poem written by Ruth Graham in her book “Legacy of a Pat Rack.” It has been on my bookshelf since the eighties.
I lay my “whys”
Before Your cross
In worship kneeling,
My mind too numb
My heart beyond
And worshipping, realize that I
In knowing You
Don’t need a “why.”
There is peace in knowing you’re right where God wants you, even when you don’t understand the “why.” As I sat on the sofa with Judah, I had no doubt I was where I was supposed to be and doing what I was supposed to do — seeding a memory into the mind of my grandson.
In navigating cancer and all its tentacled side-effects, I know there are little eyes watching to see if I live what I believe. What they remember will become part of a legacy I’m still shaping.
Will they see that my focus is on Christ or on circumstances? As the pressures increase, will they watch them press me deeper into God or push me further away? Will they learn there can be joy and humor amid the chaos of cancer?
When my youngest son Bill, Judah’s dad, was about Judah’s age, he was feeling anxious and climbed up beside me on the sofa.
“What if something bad happens to us?” he asked.
Wanting to be encouraging, I said that God is all powerful and nothing can touch His child without His permission.
“But what if God gives permission?”
“Good question,” I said. “Well, if that happens, then it’s God’s will — which is always good, acceptable and perfect for each of us.”
God reminded me of that conversation recently and how life comes full circle. It’s my children, now adults, who are encouraging me.
Everything we do in life leaves an impression — either a negative or a positive imprint — on others. While an inheritance is made up of things, our legacy includes thingswe have done … our works…and people we have touched.
At birth, my children inherited flat feet, fatty tumors, cowlicks and a gene pool stocked with a few mutations — all lovingly woven into our DNA by our Creator. Eventually, they will inherit boxes of personal belongings from the attic to divvy out, whether they want them or not.
I think my legacy will be like my attic — filled with bits and pieces of life — memories and stories of who I was that may bring a chuckle, a tear, a sense of pride, a bit of inspiration or an I-can’t-believe-she-did-that flashback.
Since I haven’t gone through life walking on tiptoes, I hope I also leave behind footprints of flat feet worth following.
Lord, Please give us the vision, strength, wisdom and skill to build a legacy worthy of our walk with You. AMEN
THE FOLLOWING IS A POEM WRITTEN BY SHIRLEY MOZINGO AS SHE TRANSITIONED FROM “NORMAL” LIFE TO ONE AFFECTED BY CANCER…
I thought I knew my journey, Lord;
I thought I knew the way.
I thought you had it all mapped out
And I would be okay.
But out of nowhere stormy skies
Soon overtook my world.
The path that was so clear before
Was fast becoming blurred.
I’m so confused; I’ve lost my way.
I don’t know what to do.
I had a purpose yesterday.
I knew what to pursue.
But, Lord, you went and changed all that.
My “normal” life is gone.
And what remains is something new
That’s frightening and unknown.
Reach out your hands and hold me tight.
I need to feel you near.
Give me the faith to follow You
Although the way’s unclear.
I understand your life has changed.
It isn’t what you want.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t know
Just where you will end up.
I have another task for you;
Not in your comfort zone.
It’s unfamiliar wilderness;
But you are not alone.
I have you centered in my hand.
I knew you before birth.
You were part of the Master plan
When I created earth.
So trust me in these unsure times
To lead and light the way.
The timing and the battle’s mine.
Your life’s like Potter’s clay.
I know the plans I have for you.
Be still and simply rest.
Find joy in the journey and
You won’t feel stressed, but blessed.