Devoted Blog

Sowing Through Tears

August 29, 2018

Blog By Sunny Lee Jones

Do you have those moments that are engrained in your memory, and you can recall every detail down to the clothes you were wearing? I had one of those days on February 5, 2017 – it was a rainy Super Bowl Sunday, I was staring into space as my mom bluntly threatened to disown me and take her own life if I married my then fiancé, Corbin. I remember the shock and fear that came over me as I froze in my seat and then the disappointment sank in… We had waited, prayed, and believed for God to miraculously move hearts but this felt like an undeniable defeat. I trudged back to the car where Corbin was waiting. A tiny part of me wished that he would say, ‘This is too hard. Let’s just end this’. My head rationalized that giving up would be the easiest way out of this mess. However, we both knew the promise of God stamped with the confirmation of the Holy Spirit – the promise of a blessed union that nothing and no one could separate.

But what do you do when your circumstances don’t align with the promises of God? I wrestled with this question and realized that too often I get stuck at “this isn’t how things should be”. I focus most of my attention on coping with my discouraged heart that I miss the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit who wants to empower me in taking the next step forward. Don’t get me wrong, there is validity in taking the time to reflect on your feelings and you may even find yourself in a season where God is asking you to wait right where you’re at, but relishing in our feelings for too long can be paralyzing. After the Superbowl incident, I was too afraid to move forward but I came across Ecclesiastes 11:4 (NLT) which says, “Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud they never harvest”. The Holy Spirit whispered that this was not a time to pause and wait for circumstances to change. It was a season to continue sowing – not only moving forward with the wedding but also continuing to pray, serve, give, and believe – not just for our miracle but for the miracles of others. The process of sowing can be grueling but through it, we learned to have grit and trust in our God who works all things together for good.

Although there were parts of this journey that I had to walk by myself, I did not feel alone. Our church family stood with us in prayer and supported us in so many ways. Much of how we were able to smile and laugh at our unknown future was due to the contagious faith of those surrounding us. Women who had previously experienced similar situations spoke words of encouragement and interceded in prayer for us and for my relationship with my mom. They encouraged me to fix my eyes on Jesus and keep my feet firmly planted in His Word. God knew I needed them!

The memory of Superbowl Sunday 2017 is one I will never forget. But the shock of that day has now disintegrated and turned into an awe of our miracle working God. We realized that our struggle was not against my mom and vowed early on to honor her no matter what. Now, she is one of our biggest cheerleaders and a loving mother-in-law. Corbin and I got married on June 30, 2017 with the blessings from both of our families. Looking back, I’ve realized that we have been able to reap a harvest of miracles because of sowing through the tears just as Psalm 126:5 (NIV) declares – “those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy”.

I don’t know what you may be in the middle of, but I pray that we become women who rely on God’s Word to ground and sustain us. I pray that we develop the grit to continue sowing seeds of faith even in the midst of trials. And through this, we will reap a harvest of miracles! In Jesus name, Amen.