The Gift

As a young child, I grew up in the church with a family that loved art and music but I never truly understood the impact of these art forms or their purpose. Throughout my life, I have always loved to sing and dance, and I even taught myself a couple of instruments. While I was in High School, I led my youth worship team which involved scheduling teams and the songs and really having to lead the heart behind the team. I got to experience a new aspect of my relationship with God once I started worship leading that I never thought could be possible. I believe that everyone has a special way they connect with God and mine was definitely worship.

As I graduated High School I felt the call on my life to pursue full-time ministry at Wave Leadership College. As I was released by my Youth Pastor, I started to become involved with Wave Church full time. Due to this change, I realized I had to almost completely press the reset button on my life. Areas in my life and in my heart that I thought were normal or “okay”, God had started to reveal to me that I needed to be healed from due to past hurts. In the midst of realizing these hurts, I was also faced with the reality that I was no longer THE worship leader at the same capacity I had once been at. This was a crushing part of my life because I had been so involved with worship previously but now there was a whole new system I had to learn. Although this was challenging and sometimes heartbreaking it was also such a beautiful time because I got to also press the reset button on my relationship with God.

In the season of “not” worship leading (I now know worship leading is not just singing on stage), I felt as though I needed something else that made me feel extremely connected to God as I had with worship.

I started to invest my time into different art forms like drawing and embroidery which I always thought I could never do because we all know we are our worst critics. I had this voice in my head constantly telling me that worship was all that I had and without it I was nothing. But in realizing that “worship” is simply using the gifts God has given you no matter what those are, art or not, has completely changed my viewpoint. It has been so beautiful being able to use such an incredible tool such as art, to connect with God. God is a creative God which is shown at the very beginning of time in Genesis 1:2. I started to realize that God delights in my art and He has given me these gifts for His glory, and if I’m not using them for Him then why would I have them?

Through worship leading and worship through art, I have been able to create relationships with people who I know will be in my life for the long haul. One of my closest and dearest friends and mentor came into my life simply because of our similar interest in art. It is such a beautiful thing that happens when you allow your gifts to bring God glory. He started to do a work in my life through something I thought was just a hobby or something I could never be good at, and now this has turned into a rock in my relationship with God.

At the time of me stepping out of worship leading and stepping more into other arts, I didn’t understand why “God” would allow this to happen. I now realize that the season I went through was truly a GIFT from God not some sort of punishment. Because of this crushing season, I am now fully planted in God’s house, in an incredible God-honoring relationship with an amazing man, and involved in beautiful friendships. I owe my life to God and I cannot think of any other way to honor Him other than simply by submitting my gifts and talents to Him.

If you are someone who knows God has placed within you certain gifts, please do not hide those away, but embrace them. When I stopped letting insecurity and doubt rule my life and let God be the ultimate ruler, He completely lifted me out of my darkest state and created my life to be a beautiful work of art.