Relationships Series: Friendship and The Military Wife.
Blog By Lauren Bost
Ready, set, go.
It’s sink or swim, like it or not this is it…Life as a military wife: Married, but on your own? Take a deep breath doll, you have sisters!
My husband and I have been married for 12 years, 10 of those enlisted. We have 5 children and 2 deployments under our belt. By anyone’s standards I have my hands full on a daily basis, then you add in the military factor. Are we staying or moving? When are you leaving? For how long? No matter the answers, in the end, we adapt.
Life as a military wife can feel contradictory at times. You’re told, “We take care of our own, we’ve got your 6”. On the other hand, the emotions creep in saying: “You can’t count on anyone, you are on your own”. It’s easy to convince ourselves that we don’t need anyone or any help. We tell ourselves, “I’m a big girl, I’ve got this”. After all, God did fully equip you to run the race set before you right?
One of the tools God has given us as women is the desire to be in relationship with one another. We were never meant to walk through this life alone. When you are married to a service member, you learn quickly that friendships are your survival. So you surround yourself with people who will champion you and build you up. That doesn’t make you weak, on the contrary, it makes you stronger.
Look at Ruth and Naomi. After their husbands had died, they knew all they had left was their faith and each other. Naomi’s love for God prompted her to leave her home and follow where she had heard the Lord had been. Ruth’s unfailing loyalty to her mother-in-law, Naomi, and the covering of her family, empowered her to continue to honor Naomi with her life and actions. Naomi was not only a Godly woman with Godly convictions, but she was a Godly influence on Ruth. They honored the place God had called them, and they became a support system for each other.
“May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” Ruth 2:12 (NIV)
The power that friendships can have on your life is profound. They can make or break you at times. Some of the most impactful friendships in my life were not at the same time, nor were they in the same circle. Yet each one of them was God appointed. We’ve seen each other through deployments, relocations, babies, marriages, infidelities, heartache, deaths…LIFE. I can think of no better group of girls to call my squad. Even though some of these girls might be gone, I know that the friendship remains and I can pick up the phone and in an instant, these women will show up!
When our spouses are not able to be involved with our day to day life, they count on us to hold down the fort at home, they trust us to be honorable. This is why friendships with women of conviction are so crucial.
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26 (NIV)
Choose your friends wisely girls. God has designed us in such a way that we desire to be connected. What a blessing it is when you can connect with women who simply just want everything God desires for you. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with these women, the investment is so worth it! Challenges will come into our lives no matter what. You need to make sure you have surrounded yourselves with women who will lock arms with you and cheer you on as you run this race.
As a military wife, you get used to saying goodbye to friends. As quickly as you establish a friendship, you can just as easily be saying goodbye to one. However, God never removes someone from your life without in turn filling that space with the opportunity to connect with someone new, OR in a new way. Don’t be afraid to invest in a friendship because the pain of saying goodbye doesn’t seem worth it. He knows every need and desire of your heart and will bring the right friendships into your life, but it’s up to us to cultivate them. So go on beautiful, prayerfully consider the women in your world, pray for Godly influence over each other and embrace the girl to your left and right. After all, she was brought into your life for a purpose.