Devotional by Leah Holser
The faded faux gray-green leather of a hospital waiting room, the top of my steering wheel after just pulling into my driveway, the stoic expression on the face of the ultrasound technician, the shout of a neighbor banging on my door. These are various memories that first come to my mind when I think of tragic, life altering moments in my life.
We all have life altering moments; a time where time stands still, yet rushes past us at a million miles per hour. The realization that our lives will be forever altered, when something precious has been taken away. We all carry these memories, they are part of us, part of who we are. Allow me to share some of mine with you.
Amazingly, as I recall these difficult moments, I do so without pain connected. They were painful for sure, but honestly peace, not pain comes to my heart when I recollect these memories. It’s not because I have disconnected myself or that I am in denial or have numbed my senses. It’s because my God, the Lord of my life, Jesus Christ is truly the Prince of Peace. He is and has been my Prince of Peace. When I think of each time horror could have invaded my heart, I marvel at the weight of God’s goodness. He has been my truth, speaking healing and wholeness into sickness, speaking life amidst a death report, and offering strength for brokenness.
The doors of truth that He opens no one can close. Scripture that my parents and teachers taught me at an early age reverberated loudly into my heart and my mind when I needed them. Words poured off the pages of my Bible straight into my pain, filling my soul with peace.
I had a one year old daughter and was pregnant with my second daughter when my husband spent days in a medically induced coma. For days I sat in that awful hospital room, next to his bedside reading the Psalms out- loud declaring words of truth to his spirit and to mine. I paced his room declaring those words of truth. They became like oxygen to me. Those Psalms-filled hospital days filled my soul with promises of all God was going to do through my husband’s life. Death dared not come near us!
When the doctors told me that IF Derek woke up he would probably be significantly brain damaged, I knew that not only would he wake up, but that when he woke up, his brain would be strong enough to accomplish all the promises God had spoken into my heart about Derek through His word. Fifteen years later, my husband has not only fully recovered, but I have experienced incredible joy watching him fulfill so many of those beautiful promises.
Another memory I carry with me and share with you was when my youngest child was diagnosed with spina bifida. The doctors, after first recommending terminating my pregnancy, then proceeded to tell me all the difficulties, health challenges, and surgeries my child would have to deal with if we continued with the pregnancy. I don’t cringe as I recall that awful moment in the doctor’s office. Rather, I rejoice remembering that in that moment, I was given the truth about my son from my God who created him. Sentences of death were disqualified by words of life from the God of life. I responded to the doctor from a place of truth as I told the doctor that taking the life of the child God had given me was not an option. My words filled the doctor with faith as I told him what I knew about my son. He was a gift from God, and his life was filled with purpose. We would do all we could do to protect him and celebrate his perfect little life no matter the condition of his body upon birth. We’ve been celebrating my wonderful son’s life for over twelve years now and my son carries God’s goodness like a shield wherever he goes.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.