Helen and I have been married for over 40 years and I think I have learned a bit about what real love is. I do love my wife more and more every day.
I have three daughters, six granddaughters and five sisters and I love them all and I know how important it is for them to own a clear vision of HOW they should be loved. The vision we have is a powerful driver of the future we will experience. I want them and all women to enjoy the best, so let me help you see what it looks like ‘when a man loves a woman.’
So often, love is interpreted by our culture is goose bumps and raging hormones. I totally enjoy the feelings of love but if you’re chasing feelings, you will be on a rollercoaster ride and you will never really discover what true lasting love is. Love is a verb and it always costs you. Love that doesn’t cost is just a feeling.
This is what I see When a Man Loves a Woman:
- He will love WHY she is before he even meets her.
Every one of us was created with destiny and when his sense of destiny begins to resonate with what’s on the inside of her, something comes alive! The power of synergy erupts and you begin to journey together toward destiny.
- He will guard his thoughts, words and actions to give his heart and desires to her alone.
We so often are deceived to think we are a victim of our attractions. God has never created a victim. He has created us in His image and given us dominion. It is our choice and a matter of the heart. Jesus taught us to make our heart good and it will make our fruit good (Mt 12:33). We make our heart good by choosing what thoughts, words, sights and actions we will allow to be planted in the ‘garden’ of our heart. The fruit we reap is the harvest of desires and feelings.
I want to continually feel in love with my wife and desire to love her even more so it is worth me choosing to guard my heart against anything that would distract me away from the one I have committed my love for a lifetime to.
- He will continually pay the price to continually understand her.
I’ve repeated the word continually because understanding a woman is a never-ending quest… and just when you think you have her figured out, she changes! Women have seasons that continually keep them fascinating and beautiful!
I say pay the price because opposites attract and understanding her is always going to require effort, but that cost is what love is all about. The goal of communication is understanding, and intimacy is the journey of the two of you becoming one. That will take the rest of your life and will require an ongoing cost of communicating for the purpose of understanding.
I have many more thoughts on what it looks like for a man to love a woman but this is good for now and I will continue this discussion in the future.
Developing flourishing relationships between God and people,
John Burns